January 2009 Archives

I have read a lot of biography and often
people wrote sentences like: "my parents never let me go into their room after some point, figuring I was too old to really need comfort any more. That was the end of the protected world of childhood."

I have read a lot of parenting essays and often people wrote sentences like: "we thought we would never get them out of our room, but we just said one night, 'you have to sleep in your bed now' and after two nights, they stayed."

I have read a lot of childhood abuse memoir where people tell their parents about horrific experiences and the parents say "why didn't you tell me? I had no idea!"

I have had a lot of conversations with people from large families who sung praises to benign neglect, and who were quite certain that our labor intensive parenting styles will make it far harder for our children to know themselves realistically.

You cannot win. The balance lies before us but staying balanced between Scylla and Charibdis is difficult even with enough sleep and a supportive society.

All you can do is pay your money, make your choices and watch your kids grow into the fullness of their specific humanity. Life is imperfect, dangerous, has an unhappy ending in the best case, and is such an impossibly wondrerous experience to share with your successors.

My daughter has recently started to opt out of my evening reading sessions, preferring to read to herself. Was I proud? No. I was annoyed. I haven't finished my list of important things to read to her. But I have transmitted my own prickly independent style of learning, for better or for worse not being an issue. She is herself. I am myself. She is my kid. She also gets in half trouble for staying up late reading, as I did from my book loving mother. I can't wait to see what happens tonight when the trolley ride is over.

Rffff

-- Posted from a Cell Phone

Two Blair students are blogging for the Voice.

Pete Volk began writing about the Thunderbolts this past summer and has continued to follow the Blazers during the school year. If you want to find out the latest game stats and read expert analysis, go to http://www.silverspringvoice/takomasilversports.

Pete is a Blair senior, currently puzzling over which college has the best program for a budding sports reporter.


Gemma D'Eustachio has taken over "Inside Blair," the column that has been a franchise of the Kohn and Wolf families--until now. You can read Gemma's thoughts on high school and beyond at http://www.takoma.com/insideblair.

Gemma is a junior at Montgomery Blair High School. In her sophomore year, she joined the Voice team and has filed several impressive articles already. We look forward to reading her blog.

So I just got off of the phone from the other three members of the family. Big sis states we erred in creating little bro. Little bro asks if I wondered where my Power Rangerish bike helmet, last seen in his arms this morning, went. My beloved life partner wondering if I was wearing some helmet at least and perhaps a bit of query as to my arrival time. Being an inflexible 60 minutes away I can only listen to the various yelled disputes and work out how I can walk in and save the lot of them with a few heroic acts and some calm words of acknowledgement and encouragement. Then the pasta. At least that is my current plan.

It is so odd to walk in, a bit tired between the new job and the rushed tho fun bike rides, and have no idea what the day has been like. How does everyone do this?

-- Posted from a Cell Phone

Report from (the other) bay by Chris Austin Lane We are settled in to the West Coast, and the adventure of parenting goes on. I won't be able to share any new spots on the Potomac, nor how to deal with the cold weather or the inauguration madness (which we read about wistfully). California is very different from Maryland, and the ex-urbs are very different than Takoma Park. For instance, I bike by a yard of sheep on the way to the Metro, which is called the trolley. I have transformed into one of those Dads that are gone for like 60 hours a week and is all peppy and enthusiastic on our Saturday expeditions to the many wonderful places we have found in the Bay area. We have moved twice and the kids compare everything to Maryland, as do I.

by Emory Luce Baldwin

Teaching children basic good manners and courtesy is not that different from teaching a child how to ride a bike or how to make their own sandwich. Children learn very well from the consequences of "what works" and "what doesn't work" in social situations inside, and outside, of the home.

Most parents I know would like their child to "be good," but what is good behavior exactly? Is it responsibility? Is it acting thoughtfully? Or is it cooperation? In general, most parents consider children well behaved when their behavior does not create problems for family members or interfere with the family's ability to live well together. Any one person's act of rudeness or selfishness, for instance, may be directed at only one other member of the family. But, the whole family is going to suffer when a member of the family consistently behaves in a rude or selfish way.

Extraordinary cooperation brings back hidden gem

School Scene

by Sue Katz Miller