Tales of the District

The combination of feminine wiles and brut-strength seemed to help her with reporters as she usually succeeded in getting good coverage for OutReach.

Dan skimmed the release while darting to his office to check his messages. He had mastered the art of walking and reading at the same time and only occasionally ran into furniture or co-workers. The voice mail voice told him that he had 12 messages. As he pondered whom to call first his phone rang.
“You did it,” Claudia screamed into the receiver. “I can’t believe you pulled it off. You’re a political genius. Every K Street firm is going to be knocking at your door trying to steal you away from OutReach.” “Yea, I know,” Dan said, not bothering to feign modesty.
“We saw you on C-Span. Did you know the camera caught you whooping? Very cute!”

“What’re you doing watching C-Span in the middle of the day?”
“I wasn’t feeling great so I’m staying at home and incubating. I dragged Rita Jane out of her studio to watch it with me. She was very impressed. She wants to say congratulations.”

“You were great,” Rita Jane said. “I’m so proud of you. What are we going to do to celebrate?”

“I was thinking of dinner at Nora’s,” Dan said.
Claudia picked up the other phone, “Nora’s would be great. How’d you get Smuckers to change his mind?’

“I can’t really take credit for that,” Dan admitted. “God alone can explain that one. It was nothing short of a miracle. I guess he must have been swayed by Weymouth. Figured if the chairman could take a pass so could he. Who knows, maybe he’s in the closet, too.”

Hannah poked her head into his office, “Get off the phone pretty boy. Fox is on the phone. They want to know if you can do a live show at 2?”

“Gotta go, girls,” Dan said to Claudia and Rita Jane. “Do we want to do Fox?” Dan asked. “They’re usually so homophobic. Tell them to call Weymouth for a comment.”

“I already said that,” Hannah replied rolling her eyes at him. “They already spoke to Weymouth. He’s going to be there and he wants you there, too.”

“In that case, I’ll be there.”

“You’ve got calls from the Post, the Times, and the BBC waiting on the line.”

“Put the first one through and take messages for the others.”

At 1:32 Dan ran out of his office and was fortunate enough to hail a cab on the first try. At 1:52, Dan pushed open the heavy glass door to the ornate hallway of the Fox network office. A receptionist took his name and asked him to take a seat. “I’m supposed to be on the air at 2,” Dan said trying not to sound too impatient. Almost immediately a very thin woman with long painted nails and arched eyebrows greeted him and escorted him to the green room, where Weymouth was already waiting.

Dan wanted to hug him and boast about their victory, but he found himself feeling shy. He didn’t really know if Weymouth was happy with the vote or if Weymouth wanted to be acknowledged for his role in the outcome. He decided to play it cool and take his cues from the congressman.

“Thank you for coming,” Weymouth said. “When I had seven calls for interviews before I got back to my office, I realized this was going to be a big story. I wanted your advice on developing a message for the media.”

Dan nodded. “Did you know Smuckers was going to switch?

“No.” Weymouth smiled, exposing his perfectly even, white teeth, that must have been, which must have been whitened. “But I went to see him like you asked me to.”

“You did?” Dan said.

“Sure. You know we actually listen to you lobbyists sometimes. I went the day you barged in on me after your meeting with Reynolds.” Dan’s expression must have betrayed his surprise. “Listen, don’t give yourself too much credit. I realized it would be in my best interest if there were other Republicans not supporting this thing, too. Make me look a little less out of the mainstream, you know?”

Dan considered whether he felt comfortable making a joke and decided against it.

“Did you expect that the bill would be defeated?”

“Honestly, I wasn’t sure. I knew there was a chance.” Weymouth paused. “Between you and me, a lot of Republicans don’t like this bill either. Most everyone knows someone who is gay. Even Cheney’s daughter is gay. We don’t like to promote homophobia, but we are constantly getting pressured from the Christian right.”

The makeup people arrived and took them into a small room with two barbershop stools and a large mirror surrounded by bright light bulbs. The makeup artist chatted with Dan as she spread thick pancake make up on him, combed the hair out of his face, and sprayed it in place with Aqua Net.
In the studio, the sound woman clipped a small black microphone onto Dan’s lapel. “I need to test this, baby,” the large, friendly woman, told Dan. “Say something. Tell me what you ate for breakfast.”

“I didn’t eat breakfast,” Dan said.

“Tell me who you slept with last night,” she chuckled.

Dan blushed. “I usually eat dry toast and a double espresso.”

“So that’s how you keep your figure,” she teased.

Before she had a chance to ask him, the Congressman said, “I had scrambled eggs and grits. And coffee, of course. But I don’t spend all that money on the espresso, just drink the old-fashioned stuff.”

The two hosts – conservative Steve Schultz, a forty-something black man, and liberal Doug Wagner, a forty-something white man with blond hair and blue eyes, arrived on the set and quickly shook hands with both men. With hardly any warning they heard the announcer proclaim, “You’re watching the Schultz and Wagner hour. We keep you current about what’s happening on both sides of the aisle here in the nation’s capitol.”

“So, let’s start with you, Congressman,” Schultz asked. “Tell the audience why you didn’t support SOFA, which the Republicans have been claiming to be one of their top priorities?”

“Thank you Paul for giving me the opportunity to talk about this important issue,” Weymouth smiled into the camera, clearly comfortable being on television. “As you know, I am a strict constructionist, and there is no mention in our founding documents of the federal government having any say over family matters. Any powers not given to the federal government by our founding fathers are strictly reserved for the states. I think this is an issue best left to the states.”

“What about abortion?” Wagner asked. “The constitution sure as heck doesn’t mention abortion, but you Republicans are always ready, willing and able to get involved in that issue, too.”

Not missing a beat, Weymouth said, “The Constitution is very clear that every person has the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. I believe that includes the unborn, too.”

Wagner motioned to Dan, “How does it feel to be aligned with the top Republican leadership?”
Dan forced himself to smile. He felt like a deer in headlights. “OutReach works with both sides of the aisle. Gay rights is not a partisan issue, there are gay Republicans and Democrats.”

“Let’s be honest here Dan. Isn’t it fair to say that your organization works a lot more with Democrats than it does with Republicans?”

“That’s true,” Dan said. “But I’ll take my allies wherever I can find them, especially if he happens to be the Chairman of the Judiciary Committee.” Everybody laughed. Dan smiled. The hot lights were making him sweat. He hoped the thick pancake makeup would keep the sweat from shining through.

“Were you surprised by the vote?” Schultz asked. “Congressman, you answer first.”

“No,” Weymouth said. “I was pretty sure what the vote count would be.”

“Dan,” Schultz said, repeating the question, “Were you surprised by the vote?”

“Yes, pleasantly surprised.”

“That’s all we have time for today, thank you, gentleman,” Wagner said. “Coming up next, discussion of the bankruptcy bill and how it will change your life.”

The sound lady unhooked them from their microphones. Dan and the Congressman walked out together. Dan’s stomach growled reminding him that he had missed lunch. He thought about asking Weymouth to a late lunch, but felt strangely shy. Besides, the Congressman would almost certainly have other things he had to do. The two shook hands before climbing into separate cabs to head back to the Hill. Dan felt strangely melancholy as he said goodbye to his nemesis, wondering if he would ever be on the same side of any issue with him again.