Local Lit

Rita Jane hugged him briefly and took the bag from him. It had been three weeks since they had learned of Claudia’s pregnancy. Dan’s feelings vacillated between excitement, dread, and terror. Work usually helped distract him from the emotional whirlwind, but now with Congress out on recess, the manic pace of his job had slowed giving him time for daydreaming or daynightmaring, depending on his mood.
“Thanks for these,” Rita Jane said, unloading the bag. Dan poured himself a cup of tea and sat down at the table while Rita Jane began the cooking ritual. Rita Jane’s waffle-making ritual had the flare of a Geisha serving tea. She had two different waffle irons – a Belgian waffle maker with large squares and a regular one. She had already laid out bowls of diced strawberries, fresh raspberries and blueberries, and fresh whipped cream. The vibrant colors of the berries contrasted with the pure white cream looked like an artists’ palate. Dan loved Rita Jane’s waffles even though he suspected that the batter had egg in it. He didn’t ask, she didn’t tell. He had bought a container of tofu-whip, a vegan whipped-cream alternative, at the food co-op.
The batter sizzled when it hit the hot irons. Dan was calculating whether to go serious or keep it light when Rita Jane asked him, “Has she told you anything yet? The suspense is driving me crazy.”
“No,” Dan said simply. There’s not much time left. Only about a week until the second trimester begins.”
Rita Jane opened the waffle irons and placed two steaming waffles onto plates. Dan took a bite and luxuriated in the warm, thick sweetness. He ate the two waffles quickly, temporarily escaping from the heavy issues weighing him down.
Rita Jane picked at her waffle. “She wouldn’t have a second-trimester abortion would she?” Rita Jane asked.
Dan was lusting after her untouched waffles. “Don’t get your hopes up,” Dan said. “It’s not a good time for her to become a mother. Or for me either. My career is crazy. And I haven’t given up on the idea of meeting someone and having my own family, although that possibility is looking more doubtful every day.”
“I’ve given up,” Rita Jane said. “I’m never going to meet someone in time to have a child, even if my body would cooperate.”
He wanted to tell her to stop being so self-absorbed, and he wanted her to make some more waffles. Instead he said kindly, “I don’t think you’ve really given up on that dream. You’re still grieving Sean. It takes a long time to heal from a break-up. Having a child now would be like having a rebound relationship.”
“No it wouldn’t.” She stood up and turned her back on him, pouring more batter into the irons. “I’ve wanted to have a child my entire adult life. I’m just taking charge of my life instead of waiting for some man to make me happy.”
Sometimes it was better to change the subject with Rita Jane instead of trying to talk her out of her morose moods. She was, in modern parlance, a drama queen, relishing her emotional pain. Dan’s opinion, which he usually kept to himself, was that Rita Jane had lived such a life of privilege that she had never experienced any real deprivations, so she needed to make the most of her small dramas when they occurred.
She stood and walked to the waffle irons. She sighed tragically, and then brushed back her long hair from her face, with emphasis. “At least you’ve met Dave. He’s perfect for you.” She put two more steaming waffles on his plate.
“Perfect except for that small issue that he doesn’t want to have kids,” Dan said. He turned his attention back to the waffles, loading them up with apricot and berry preserves.
Rita Jane walked across the room and returned with a carved wooden box about the size of a shoebox. “Remember this?” she passed it to him. “It’s my God Box. I’ve had it since I was a kid. Whenever something is bothering me I put it in the God Box, and it always gets resolved sooner or later.”
“Yes, but everything gets resolved sooner or later if you just wait long enough,” Dan said, rolling his eyes. “What religion did you get this from? It sounds like transubstantiation.”
Rita Jane admired her box, then placed it carefully back on the shelf. “You know me. I’ve dabbled in a bit of everything. After I abandoned Catholicism, I’ve tried the Methodists, Unitarians, Quakers, Buddhists, Hindus and Sufis. I take pieces of each one, never completely swallowing the whole bill of goods. I know you’re a skeptic, but I’m telling you it works. Once I put it in the box, I can stop worrying about it. It’s out of my hands and in God’s hands. I put ‘child’ in the God box yesterday – once for you and once for me, so we should have resolution soon.”
Before Dan had a chance to ask further, they were interrupted by a knock on the door.
“Were you expecting someone?” Dan asked.
“No,” Rita Jane said. She opened the door to Claudia, wearing a green cloak and purple woolen scarf, her cheeks rosy from the cold.
“I thought you’d both be here,” Claudia said.
“Come join us,” Dan called out. “You’ll be doing me a favor. Otherwise I’ll end up eating all these waffles myself.”
“I’d love some,” Claudia said. “I actually feel hungry this morning. I didn’t even throw up yet today.”
“Well that’s something,” Dan said, unsure what to say. He moved his chair over, making space for her at the crowded table. “Any news about Emad?” he asked.
“He’s doing okay. He’s got a big firm taking his case, and two lawyers that seem to be doing a good job. It’s just as well I’m not representing him now. I’ve been a bit distracted with this big decision hanging over my head.”
Dan and Rita Jane exchanged glances, but neither said anything.
She ate the two waffles greedily, barely pausing between bites. They both watched her eat, not saying anything. As soon as she had finished, Rita Jane plopped two more on her plate. “Mange, mange,” she said. “It’s good to see you eat.”
Around her fourth waffle, she started slowing down. “Alright you two. I have a few questions for you. If I have this baby, how in hell are we going to raise it? How is this going to work?”
Rita Jane responded like a well-rehearsed actress, playing the most important role of her life. “I’ve got it all figured out. I can watch the baby during the day and the two of you can take turns having her, or him, at night.”
“Right, so the two of us who have to get up and go to work will be the ones staying up all night with the kid?” Claudia asked.
“We could all live together and share the burden,” Rita Jane said.
Dan and Claudia looked at each other. “I don’t think so,” Claudia said. “I’d want to stay at TLC and neither of our places is big enough to have all of us, and a baby, living together.”
“Do you even want to raise the child?” Dan asked Claudia. He tried to disguise the judgment he felt, but Claudia sensed it.
“I’m not going to lie to you,” Claudia said. “I would not have chosen to be pregnant, but I know I couldn’t have this child and then give it to someone else to raise. I know that’s selfish, but I couldn’t do it.”
“I understand,” Rita Jane said touching her on the shoulder. “I couldn’t either.” She took one of Claudia’s hands and said, “We don’t have to work out all the logistics now, but you have our word that we’ll be there for you. We want to be part of this child’s life. I mean, I should speak for myself. I want to be.”
Rita Jane looked at Dan who was scraping remnants of apricot preserves off his plate.
“What about you Dan?” Claudia asked.
“I just don’t know,” he said looking up from his plate. “I don’t know if it could work. It might be too hard to raise a child with two people, neither of whom I have a committed relationship with.”
Rita Jane looked at him as if he had just confessed to murder. “I’m just trying to be honest,” he said, too defensively. “It’s not how I want to live my life.”
“Things don’t always work out the way you want them to,” Rita Jane said. “You do something and then you have to live with the consequences of your decision.”
“Ouch,” Dan said. “Raising a child is a big consequence for a one-night-stand.” Rita Jane started to say something and Dan interrupted, her, “I know what you’re going to say. You should have thought of that before you did it.”
Claudia, who had remained quiet during their argument, finally spoke, “I appreciate your honesty, Dan. It’s not what I wanted, either,” she said. “But whether I want to or not, I have to deal with it.”
“I’ll support the child,” Dan said. “I mean, financially, of course, I’ll take responsibility.” It sounded lame even to him, but he felt relief at being honest. He hadn’t even realized until that moment how he had been feeling.
“Well that’s good to know,” Rita Jane said. “I’m glad we won’t have to sue you for child support.”