Politics

My office-mate, Sheila , is a Republican.   "I love President Bush," she said to me the other day.  

You would think this would be the beginning of a loud argument between us, but instead, I changed the subject.   The fact is, I'm sick of politics.   If you've been reading this column for a while, you'll recall that I never wanted to write about politics to begin with.   Politics were thrust on me by circumstance.

And now, once again, while I would rather write about Victorian poetry, and you might rather read about it, the upcoming election demands all our attention, and if the previous elections are any indication, we should all be sweating bullets right now.

Here are the things we should all--no matter what our political affiliation--be worried about:

1.   Voting machines: As we discovered during the Maryland primary, the new electronic voting machines have not, in fact, simplified the voting process.   Even if no one hacks them--and that is easily done --the recent glitches revealed the seamy underside of our new voting system.  

2.    Voting policies: If you're thinking the problem of erratic or unsavory voting machines will be solved by early voting in Maryland this year, think again: although Governor Ehrlich's petition to prevent early voting initially fell short of the requisite number of signatures--despite the efforts of Moonie-like henchpeople --in August, a judge ruled that early voting was unconstitutional.   Why wouldn't Ehrlich want to make voting easier?   Might it be because people whose schedules are inflexible, i.e., people with crappy jobs and overwhelming family responsibilities, would, if able to vote, opt for candidates who support policies and programs that would help them, i.e., Democrats?

3.   Rove-ism: According to the new book The Architect: Karl Rove and the Master Plan for Absolute Power , Rove has had his finger in multiple electoral pies since Bush's Texas days, and as everyone knows, one of his specialties is masterminding false, even absurd, rumors about his opponents.   For example, the surrealistic Swift-Boating of John Kerry was vintage Rove.  

But Rove is not the only Republican politico with political practices that make Machiavelli look like Jimmy Carter: what is less well known nationally is the Roving of Baltimore mayor and gubernatorial candidate Martin O'Malley.   In February of 2005, one of Governor Ehrlich's longtime aides, Joseph Steffen, was forced to resign when it was learned that he was part of what O'Malley termed a "concerted and orchestrated and sustained effort" to spread false rumors, i.e., to Rove him.   Unlike Kerry, who inexplicably failed to defend himself against the Rovian Swift-Boaters, O'Malley demanded an apology, and Steffen (also known as "the Prince of Darkness") had to step down.  

Perhaps Steffen was chastened by his humiliating public firing and has renounced the powers of darkness --but that doesn't mean that his methods have died with him.   Here is Steffen on politics:

My nicknames in GOP campaign circles are A) The Prince of Darkness, and B) Doctor Death. I can't even discuss a lot of what I've done/written/managed/initiated/executed because A) Most of the candidates I helped were elected and are still in office and, B) These office holders have NO IDEA of what actually helped elect them (Plausible Deniability -- a MUST in politics and psy-ops)....Part of my unwritten job description is to hurt people. It's the nature of the beast.

Even if Steffen has recently been safely ensconced in the mostly-Republican climes of Harford County and not busy doing "psy-ops" for Ehrlich, his midnight confessions show precisely what kind of campaign Ehrlich is capable of conducting.  What about senatorial candidate Michael Steele, Ehrlich's lieutenant?   Guess who was the special guest at his kickoff fundraiser.   (For the answer, see "Karl Rove: Michael Steele's New Best Friend," on the DSCC website. )  

Of course, this is just in Maryland, but it's logical to suppose that in states all across America, Rove's minions are replicating his methods to try to maintain control of Congress and of state legislatures that determine, among other things, congressional districts.

Do I sound paranoid, for a change?   Perhaps.   But given the combination of problems with voting itself and the prevalence of campaign methods that make Watergate look like a fraternity prank, November could turn out to be a pretty scary month for those of us who would like to get our country back.   But before we all just throw in the towel and go back to steele-ing ourselves (sorry) for the Soviet-style totalitarian state the Bush administration seems bent on creating, let's consider a hopeful sign:

This is how my conversation with my office-mate, Sheila, concluded.   After we had talked about shopping, gluten allergies, lawn care, anything but politics, for a while, I had an epiphany.   "You're not really a Republican," I said to her.

"Sure I am," she said, though she didn't sound as indignant as one might expect.

"No," I said.   "You're a one-issue voter."   I pointed out to her that she votes solely on the basis of whether or not someone is "pro-life," as she calls it.

"I don't disagree," Sheila said, which is as close to agreeing with anyone that she ever comes.

"You should do Boolean voting," I said.

"What the heck is that?"

"I don't know," I said.   "I just made it up.   But picture a Venn diagram.   If you vote on the basis of one issue, you may only have a tiny bit of overlap with a candidate.   But if you chose a candidate on the basis of how many issues overlap, you might even find yourself voting Democratic."   I made Venn diagrams with my hands.

"I mean, look at you," I went on.   "You teach at a community college where we aren't getting a COLA raise again this year.   You're dedicated to helping students, many of whom are disadvantaged.   You're providing what are in effect social services for them, funded largely by tax dollars.   Some Republican you are."

Sheila was quiet for a moment, which almost never happens.   Then she said, "I don't disagree."

It's quite possible that in the upcoming election, the many Republicans who are tired of the travesty George W. Bush is creating of the party of Lincoln will not disagree.   We can only hope that the polls will be open.

Not her real name.

See "Election Glitches Could Get Ugly," USA Today September 14, 2006 http://www.usatoday.com/news/washington/2006-09-13-election-glitches_x.htm and "Major Problems at Polls Feared," The Washington Post September 17, 2006 http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/09/16/AR2006091600885.html

See Brave New Ballot by Avi Rubin, a Hopkins computer science professor who exposes the mess that is Diebold voting, as well as the aptly titled Was the 2004 Presidential Election Stolen? by University of Pennsylvania statistician Steve Freeman and journalist Joel Bleifuss.   See also Ari Berman, "Hack the Vote," The Nation http://www.thenation.com/blogs/notion?pid=121450

See the account in my July "Sin of the Month" article of an early-voting opponent chasing would-be petitioners around the parking lot of my local Safeway.

"Judge Nixes Maryland Early Voting," MSNBC August 11, 2006 http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14306025/

"Ehrlich Aide Ousted over O'Malley Rumors," by Matthew Mosk, The Washington Post February 9, 2005 http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A9313-2005Feb8.html

One might be inclined to doubt that, but the Harford County Council candidate he was working for lost the primary, so perhaps he really has changed his ways.

"The 'Prince' and the Pols: Joe Steffen, the Ehrlich Aide Who Gossiped His Way out of a Job," by David Montgomery, The Washington Post March 21, 2005 http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A52621-2005Mar20.html

http://www.dscc.org/news/roundup/20050708_steele/

See Christopher Buckley, "Let's Quit While We're Behind," Washington Monthly October 2006 http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/features/2006/0610.buckley.html : " What have they done to my party? Where does one go to get it back?"

No comments have been posted to this article.

Want to post a comment to this article? Click here.