Queries for Carrie

	Bells, bells, bells

Query: I met this guy fifteen days ago. He is the man I am going to marry. I can't decide whether to have a small wedding here or an even smaller one alone with him on a beach somewhere. Is it too late to plan a December wedding?

Gaga on Grant

Carrie: Well now, that all depends. If you're only sixteen or seventeen, it's too early to plan a December wedding--too early in your life. You should try to get through one or two college degrees and a year or two in the world on your own before you commit to playing house for the rest of your life. And it's not that he might not be the right guy for you, 'cause if he is, he'll still be there when you get done growing up.

If on the other hand, you've attained years of discretion (say between 29 and 80), then by all means, plan a rapid wedding for this very holiday season. If it's your first wedding, then you'll want to try to include your family and a few close friends in recognition of this sacred union. The people who have loved and cherished you for years will want to be witnesses to this important transition in your life. You can always be very private with your new husband on the honeymoon.

If this is a marriage-greater-than-one for both of you, then you are wholly at your own pleasure and discretion. If you run down to city hall, or away to the Bahamas, no one will bat an eye. Only remember to send out a nice announcement when you get back so that everyone will know where you're living and what names you've chosen to retain or change.

Query: My new school is huge, and it seems like my courses were scheduled so that it would be impossible for me to get from class to class on time. My teachers must think I'm the world's rudest, stupidest person. I know I'm not the only one who isn't in a seat when the bell rings, but I don't know anybody who's got a layout as bad as this. What do I do? Most of these classes are required.

Perplexed on Piney Branch

Carrie: Make an appointment and take your schedule and a print-out of the school layout to the guidance counselor's office with you. Explain your dilemma. That person's sole job is to make sure that you have the support you need outside the four walls of a classroom, as well as inside it. There's almost always some leeway in system with as many options as yours must have. At the very least, you could wring a written pass from the Vice Principal or some one of equal authority, that will excuse you from being marked chronically late due to the physical exigencies of your situation. And don't forget to talk with and explain to your teachers what's going on. Most of them want you to learn with them in a constructive environment. Plus, you'll find your land-speed increases as you get to know this new, unfamiliar facility a little better.

Query: I hate to sound like Scrooge, but I cannot sleep through the many--early--masses at the local Catholic Church. It's not that the congregation yells or talks loudly. It's those darned bells they ring every time they get going. I understand that it's an long-standing symbolic tradition, but in these modern times not everyone within sound of the bells is in church or even thinks they should be. Do I complain? Do I campaign? Do I start a petition? Honestly, I don't think I have time to fight the whole Catholic Church just so I can get some shut-eye.

Wrung out on Myrtle

Carrie: The ringing of the bells, bells, bells getting on your nerve, nerve, nerve? I hear you. And I have to say, that I don't think there's a lot to be done about the situation, not in the way of shutting down the customary practices of the local church. You might not want to seem like Scrooge, but what will your neighbors think? OK, they'd probably agree with you, but everyone else is going to think you're stealing the Christmas tree (oops, that's the Grinch).

I do recommend spending some dough-ray-me on a really high-quality pair of ear-plugs. It sounds obvious, but in a state of distress brought on by too little sleep (which impairs decision-making and problem-solving skills alike), you may not have thought of this simple solution. Honestly

If it comes to that, you might wish to move somewhere solitary and peaceful. As if it's not the church bells, it will be the school children or the garbage men, or the teen-age band next door, or the dog down the block.... You take my point.