Query: I didn’t choose the same high school that both of my best friends did. Now we won’t be together for all of high school. I’m worried about starting a new school and not knowing anyone. I could still go on the waiting list for the school they’re going to, even if it doesn’t have as good of a theater department. But what should I tell Dad so he doesn’t go through the roof?

–Bummed on Baltimore

Carrie: The hardest thing at your age is feeling and thinking for yourself when important decisions come up. The choices you make now will have an impact on your life for decades to come. Figuring out what kind of a program you’ll be interested in for the next four or five years may be one of the toughest decisions you have to make, until you’re picking a university or trade school.

Don’t imagine you’ll lose your friends because you’re not together every day.

If you have good friends, they’ll be supportive of your reasons for choosing a different school from them. You and they will be able to arrange to see each other outside school hours–when you’re free to enjoy yourselves without being in the middle of a structured space. They will come and see the shows in which you perform. You’ll see them play weekend games. The time you spend together will be more precious for being intentional. Here’s a chance for you to challenge yourself to keep a relationship or two going even when it’s not convenient.

You understand that I don’t advise you to switch schools. You found one with a program that excites you, and where you will be able to make close friendships quickly. Most people are happier wherever they can do the work they love with others who share their values. You’ll find satisfaction in sticking with your earlier decision and learning to trust your courage and self-reliance.

Tell your dad that you’re glad he’s supportive of your interest in the performing arts, and then give him a big hug.

Query: I am not a young person any longer, and I don’t cook for myself any-more. I have meals brought to my home three times a week, some to eat right away and some to freeze or refrigerate. I don’t have much in my day to look forward to beyond what I am having for lunch or dinner. But the person who delivers the meals doesn’t come at the same time every day. And, believe it or not, she doesn’t call to tell me when she will come. And when she finally does arrive, she often hurries right through the delivery and is gone before I can catch my breath. What would be a polite way to ask her to call before coming if she won’t come at a set time? What should I say to get her to slow down? I’m afraid she’ll hurt something, rushing as she does.

–Flustered on Freemont

Carrie: The person who delivers your meals probably delivers meals to many people each day. Her schedule may vary depending on how many stops she must make, and where they’re located relative to one another. If she were to stop and call to let everyone know when she would be there, it would take her some time, or expenditure of mobile phone minutes as she tried to drive safely from one destination to the next. Keep in mind that the dynamic driver may work two jobs; or go to school as well as working; or care for others in addition to her day job. Whatever her reasons, try not to slow her down as she goes about her appointed rounds.

If you require more attentive company, consider a cat. They’re warming as well as languid in their motions.

Query: My birthday’s on Easter this year. It’s not fair. We’ll be visiting my cousins all day and I won’t get to have a birthday party with my friends. Mom says it’s OK this once. But it’s not her birthday. How can I convince her we should stay home?

–Mad on Merwood

Carrie: You, my friend, just got extra-ordinarily lucky. I am one big believer in birthdays. Here’s your strategy: 1) Be good natured about the birthday at your cousins on Easter. 2) Ask if you could celebrate with your friends a week or so later. 3) Talk about how important time with the family is to you and how you would like a special birthday dinner together.

Now, you’re lining up three great parties, instead of one. And they’re stretched out over a week. As you open your presents at these parties, you’ll be able to add to your wish list for what you’d like from the following parties. And you’ll be setting a good precedent. Soon everyone in your family will have to have three parties apiece. Think of all the cake!