apparently

I was discussing my list of traits that make staying at home with kids easier with some friends. I asked each one what they thought was a useful trait. The one who is way laid back, a dancer and choreographer, always three steps ahead of me at playing it by ear, said something like, "Being very controlling." Meaning of the food, the behavior, that sort of thing. Our friend who runs a very tight ship, always tidy, reasonable schedule, immense knowledge of where to buy which supplies and how much they should cost, said something like, "You have to jettison your type A personality."

I had to agree with both of them, and yet I was struck that each person identified a trait that is opposite to their natural tendencies as a key useful trait. I think this underlines why parenting is such a powerful way to burst through perceived limitations. Whatever you think of as "yourself," you soon are willing to jettison. The work is so totally demanding, and the stakes the highest you've played for, that if you are a go with the flow person and you see the need for more order, you'll come up with more order. If you are a type-A person and you see the need for more laxness, you'll go with that flow. And in either case, one finds vistas opening up, and enhanced experience of freedom---the old ideas of what kind of person you are just don't really matter. They don't help get things done, and when burst through, whatever fears the limiting ideas covered up aren't substantial compared to getting dinner on the table, playing games, soothing hurt people, or whatever the task is.